the 19th.
"baby girl" - that sounds soooooo mushy when stated in a certain way. but thats how i suck up to you. haha. oh crap. i told you the secret. please let it work on you still? lol. then again i've got other names such as... little princess, angel, my love, my dearest... want me to keep going? hehe.
so its a fact - i'm crazy about you. and its obvious because you know i think you're perfect. don't be sad now. lol. nothing's gona change my mind about it. you know how much i adore you. maybe i adore you so much so that its becoming a sin. haha. God's jealous. hehe.
this rare condition of a muscle of the heart inflamming causing a ventricle to fail, brought complications to us. but you cared. such care and concern was never showered upon me. its hard at times, and i know how much you want to break free from such agony. i wish things were different when it comes to this sickening state of being. but someday, i'll be free from it. i promise. someday, we'll be free from it. i guarantee. -smile-
sometimes we find it so hard to communicate. but we still do eventually. and i truly appreciate how much you've opened up... i know its not easy for you. but i'm here. and always will be. so take your time. i do pray that i've been patient enough. at times i blow my top off too, i'm sorry. i get carried away in the situation too...
we laugh about so many things together. some of the jokes are just not for blogging. haha. but we both know how much fun we can have. from the little things to the big things. hehe. or from the little things that grow big. lol. or even the big things that become small. lol.
Marissa and Dante would be so lucky. their mother's perfect. haha. no kids that are hyper? oops. sorry love, you could pretty much assume that your kids will be like that... -points to my face- eh, wait! -give you puppy eyes- hehe.
i'm content. life's complete with you. and that's what matters. you truly are my everything. it's no wonder why God got me to know you in this manner. our time will come. onward to forever. i love you. HAPPY 19TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
change.
change.
change is the only constant thing. and i find myself adapting to something new all the time. i dont know how easy it is for you, but its pretty tough for me. its fun in its own way, but it gets tiring at times. but over all, its worth it.
i've spent many hours thinking about you. cant really seem to get you off my mind. you flood even my prayers. haha. i pray that as the days pass by, we'll be brought closer to each other. i seriously am lost on what your plans are to pull this one off... and everytime i speak and console you about it, you just seem to blow. could be a variety of reasons. one being trust. but i hope you dont take it personally everytime i ask, because i'm not trying to offend. i'm trying to understand. that's all. being impatient comes later. and that's a weakness i need to fight. i'm sorry for showing so much weakness. i didn't mean to hurt you with anything i said.
i'm just counting days now, really. i just cant wait for that day to arrive where i'll be so excited i could pee in my pants. i've been thinking about it the whole day. the times we'd spend together, and everything.
anyway, i love you too baby.
change is the only constant thing. and i find myself adapting to something new all the time. i dont know how easy it is for you, but its pretty tough for me. its fun in its own way, but it gets tiring at times. but over all, its worth it.
i've spent many hours thinking about you. cant really seem to get you off my mind. you flood even my prayers. haha. i pray that as the days pass by, we'll be brought closer to each other. i seriously am lost on what your plans are to pull this one off... and everytime i speak and console you about it, you just seem to blow. could be a variety of reasons. one being trust. but i hope you dont take it personally everytime i ask, because i'm not trying to offend. i'm trying to understand. that's all. being impatient comes later. and that's a weakness i need to fight. i'm sorry for showing so much weakness. i didn't mean to hurt you with anything i said.
i'm just counting days now, really. i just cant wait for that day to arrive where i'll be so excited i could pee in my pants. i've been thinking about it the whole day. the times we'd spend together, and everything.
anyway, i love you too baby.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
the 18th.
the 18th.
so i'm 20. haaaaaaa. it's kinda crappy cause here in NY, you're only "legal" when you're 21. and gosh, i'm not a teen anymore. i'm stuck in the middle guys. wah. help? haha.
it's weird cause this time around, i actually wanted a lot of things for my birthday. well, mostly money. but its okay. i didn't really receive any. hahaha. but it's all good! there were better gifts that came along the way.
there were a lot of things that had happened. i've learned a great deal during my 19th year in life. hehe. a lot of "growing up" done. yeah, "look, neil's 20." lot's of growing up indeed. -rolls eyes- haha. but with all seriousness, it's not that bad. i celebrated my 18th month of being with the most wonderful girl in the universe the next day after my birthday. that's a gift right there. i'm really thankful for all that we've gone through. and truely grateful for all that you've showed me to educate me as to who you really are. i've learned that love can win all bounderies because of you.
that night, i was tired and aggravated. i didn't know how to control myself, and it just exploded. i didn't mean to make you worry. i was seriously trying to control myself. but i failed. i'm sorry. but regardless of what happened that night, i'm still here. and i still love you with all my heart. a lot of people say i pamper you too much. haha. i don't care. i believe in karma. hehe. but yeah, i've seen you at your worst, but i've also seen you at your best. and in a similar fashsion, you've seen me at my worst and best too. but no matter what happens, you'll always be my love.
of all the gifts that i could have received on my birthday, none was more joyous than receiving greetings from my relatives, celebrating my 18th month anniversary with May Yuzaw, turning 20 (yeah right~), and above all... having my love back home safely.
so love, the next time you fly, it'll be into my arms, right? -smile-
so i'm 20. haaaaaaa. it's kinda crappy cause here in NY, you're only "legal" when you're 21. and gosh, i'm not a teen anymore. i'm stuck in the middle guys. wah. help? haha.
it's weird cause this time around, i actually wanted a lot of things for my birthday. well, mostly money. but its okay. i didn't really receive any. hahaha. but it's all good! there were better gifts that came along the way.
there were a lot of things that had happened. i've learned a great deal during my 19th year in life. hehe. a lot of "growing up" done. yeah, "look, neil's 20." lot's of growing up indeed. -rolls eyes- haha. but with all seriousness, it's not that bad. i celebrated my 18th month of being with the most wonderful girl in the universe the next day after my birthday. that's a gift right there. i'm really thankful for all that we've gone through. and truely grateful for all that you've showed me to educate me as to who you really are. i've learned that love can win all bounderies because of you.
that night, i was tired and aggravated. i didn't know how to control myself, and it just exploded. i didn't mean to make you worry. i was seriously trying to control myself. but i failed. i'm sorry. but regardless of what happened that night, i'm still here. and i still love you with all my heart. a lot of people say i pamper you too much. haha. i don't care. i believe in karma. hehe. but yeah, i've seen you at your worst, but i've also seen you at your best. and in a similar fashsion, you've seen me at my worst and best too. but no matter what happens, you'll always be my love.
of all the gifts that i could have received on my birthday, none was more joyous than receiving greetings from my relatives, celebrating my 18th month anniversary with May Yuzaw, turning 20 (yeah right~), and above all... having my love back home safely.
so love, the next time you fly, it'll be into my arms, right? -smile-
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