Monsters within...

he wakes up in sweat. the same dreams about his death still haunt him. although he is afraid, he knows that life has to move on. he needs to face each day with some form of courage. he fills his mind with thoughts about everday duties that is still left to be done. it helps him calm down.

he talks to himself in front of a mirror. he knows that he's getting tired, but refuses to acknowledge it. he wants to keep fighting, even if he loses to the monsters. he fights his own demons, and fights other's. and of all demons, he's faced with the toughest to date. his friend has been suffering from fears that have cloaked her for a very long time. he wants to help her, and he wants to free her. these demons inside her are there for many reasons, and he knows that he had a lot of things to do with why they are within her. he has made it a point to chase them out of her. he knows that it is the only way to save her, and them. the only thing holding his success back is his friend herself. she's still not ready to let them go.

he pauses. he looks at the mirror and sees his own demons staring back at him. he closes his eyes and says a prayer. he knows that these forms of darkness is strong only if he lets them scare him. he refuses to be afraid. they may chase him at night in dreams, but during daytime... it is his turn to chase after them.

he fills himself with thoughts of kindness, patience and love. there, he draws his strength. he knows that love conquers all. or at least that's what he is told. he talks to God in prayer, and completes it with a sign of the cross. he opens his eyes again and looks at his reflection. he sees no more demons. for now, they are the hunted.

yet again he pauses. he turns on the tap, and lets the water run down his hands. he stares at his hands as they get washed by the cooling water. he feels tired. a little doubt in his head speaks and tells him to give up and just leave his friend to the hands of the demons. after all, she will not acknowledge his efforts to help free her. perhaps she is not aware of the energy he has put in to shed light upon the darkness. there are many times that he thought to himself, that no matter what he did - try or give up - she will not release her demons. he stops his gaze at the water and starts washing his face.

he moves to get his polo-t. as he wears it in front of the mirror, he can't help but recall the dreams that he had built with his friend. he thinks to himself, "she's confused, angry and tired." he feels a pang in his heart, but he maintains his composure. he proceeds to think that nothing is more powerful than love. all these dreams will not be lost, and will be found one day and rebuilt... perhaps these dreams will be made into reality.

he puts on his socks and pants, shoes and tie. he combs his hair back, and looks at the mirror one last time. he takes a step into the living room, and sees his friend. she lays on the couch peacefully sleeping. she is close to him, yet so far. he bends over to her ear and whispers, "life is too short. death would tell you to live, for he is coming. i know i'm not worthy to be here, but neither are you. only He, who is perfect, is. i'm trying. hard. even though i don't have to."

as he walks to the door, he hears a whisper... "mmmmm. i want my baby." his friend rolls over to her other side, and carries on sleeping. he opens the door while a tear glistens down his cheek. he knows it is all but a dream now. he whispers, "i want mine too."

and so he reaches his destination, kneels down and makes the sign of the cross. there in church, he lets his griefs out, hoping that the Almighty will hear him.

no matter what happens... at least he knows he tried.