Someone Like You

I had a nightmare the other night.

A few years ago, I would have not thought of such a dream as a bad one. But now, even thinking about it sends chills down my spine. Not the good kind of chills, but the frightening type. And try topping that off with a kind of anxiety where you feel like someone evil is trying to hurt you.

You see, I once knew a girl who I thought was going to be my wife. She turned out to be someone else. As a matter of a fact, she was never the person I thought she was. And yes, I take full responsibility for the made up fairytale that was once in my head. More devastating was the fact that I continuously played out this fantasy because of the encouragement that distance brought between us. The relationship was wrong in many various levels. It is what it is... and it was what it was.

Ultimately, she triggered a lot of negativity within me. I fell trap to my own demise, and she didn't help in letting me understand what I truly needed to ensure victory in my personal turmoils. To be fair, I didn't understand her either.

And to be precise, she only brought either pain or pleasure.

I missed the part where I was suppose to learn what love truly was, because in the end... she left me for another. And her reasons? Well, who knows. It never made sense to begin with.

So about that nightmare. Basically, I dreamed that I was put into a position where I needed to take this girl back into my life. Not just take her back as a friend, but as a lover. I freaked. I didn't want her back, but under the dream's circumstances, I was being forced to take her back. All the negativity and unhappiness started pouring into my mind. I fought hard to control my feelings because I knew that it would spell a disaster for my well-being if this girl was back in my life as a lover.

Luckily, I woke up. And right beside me was my beautiful wife. My best friend. The person who helped me understand that true love exists. The person who brings me joy. As she slept peacefully, I slowly laid my shoulder on her hand. And even though she was asleep, she started caressing me. It was like as if she knew I needed to be comforted in the wake of a terrible dream. :)

I've said this before, and I'll say it again... I'm glad that that part of my life is over with. And I'm glad that I was given the opportunity to walk away just in time, before my own manhood was to be thrown out from the face of the Earth. I thank God for bringing me through those experiences, because it is now a reminder of what unhappiness is, and that I can constantly remind myself of how wonderful my relationship is now.

As for that other girl, the embedded video below is her "swan song".