School's Almost Out

In 2 weeks, I'm going to be done with my first year of teaching. The little scholars never fail to remind me why I got into teaching in the first place. There's something wonderful about a person's face when their minds are being opened up as learning takes place... especially when the subject is Music. It's just wonderful. The kids get it. They can't hide their excitement like adults can. They just get it... they just do.

A few years ago, I wouldn't have thought that I would be going through cancer. It was definitely no laughing matter when I was diagnosed with Lymphoma. Although, I can say (at least for now) that I have the last laugh. The support that I received from a lot of people was really comforting, especially from my family and Caroline.

Now that I look back (even though it was only a couple of months ago), I can't imagine going through a disease as such without someone being beside me. The fact that Caroline was physically present to hold my hand and give me encouragement as I woke up everyday gave me the fighting will to keep on working and living. If she had gone to Illinois University for her Masters, I would have been stranded by myself facing an illness that is not as easy a task to be cured from. Even though she says that if she had gone, she would hold school off just to be with me. But the reality is, she never went. She stayed at Eastman. And it was a blessing in disguise, nonetheless.

I remember our Pre-Cana. We were a "mess". Tears were flowing down our cheeks as we read our assignment to each other, which was to write a love letter to our future spouse. I only have one word for that assignment - AWESOME. Both Caroline and I never knew how to start that love letter, and to be frank, we both started in a very different direction. She started off her letter without addressing the cancer-issue because she thought that our lives at that point in time was so focused on the illness. On the other hand, I started out with how I was already infatuated with her since my freshman year of college (I just never did anything about it). But as we read what we wrote for each other, truths came flying out that reached the deepest depths of our hearts. (Sorry... I sound sappy, but the occasion was just so moving).

We decided to keep those letters. It'll help us whenever we need a reminder of the love that we share with each other. It'll be nice to show our kids too.

In other news: I recently just installed my first mod! A K&N intake for my Chevy Cobalt. Adds about 4-6 hp, and increases torque by 5-7 lbs. Not bad! Took the silencer out as well, and I think my engine just breathes way easier than it did before.

My parts for a new PC build is also here! Going to work on it during the weekend. I hope it goes smoothly. Even though it usually does not. There's always something missing, and some parts could be DOA, or it could break on me after a couple of months. But regardless of the anxiety, I'm still looking forward to this build. I haven't built a PC in years, ever since I switched to a Mac! But it'll be fun. (:

Soccer

Soccer is so much fun. Haven't played competitively in a while. I always miss the lads back in my 4 years of college at Eastman. But now I'm playing with the teachers at my workplace. It's really awesome to see us bond and play our hearts out.

I have a bruised finger, because the ball jammed it - playing goalie as usual. Caroline was there to watch the game, which put extra pressure on me to make better saves. haha

So I'm done with a personal tug-of-war between getting a new car and sticking with the one I have. Best to stick with the one I have and buy a cheaper, second hand minivan (to transform it into Caroline's harp mobile). That will save us more money.

Which means, I'm back to square one with my '05 Chevy Cobalt. Mods by the end of May; a present to myself. (:

Can't wait for the wedding! Almost done with the planning. I can't believe Caroline and I are planning this whole event by ourselves. Stressful, but worth it in the end. (:

An Open Heart

There was a time when I didn't know how to listen. And to be honest, I still struggle to maintain a listening ear every now and then. My brain still rushes through explicit ideas instead of just having to lay down my defenses and expect nothing, in order to truly hear what another person has to say.

But something magical always seem to happen when I listen successfully... I get filled with a sense of wholeness as my heart opens.

I think an open heart starts with a listening ear.

It is truly great when Caroline and I can talk about how we truly feel about situations and interactions between us. It shows honesty, respect and openness.

I love her. (: