Wednesday, March 23, 2005

eto.

eto ulit ang makulit. haha.

wala lang. walang magawa eh. blog tayo.

as of now, i don't know what i'm suppose to tell my love. i mean, she knows i'm really happy for her. but oh well. its the way life walks for me. its been a trend with me to be far away from the one i truly love.

maybe its just the sick way of God playing with my emotions.

am i destined to be a spiritual leader? i doubt it. i'm so imperfect. too imperfect. perfectly imperfect. beat that. haha.

i've only ten fingers. i don't think i can count anymore loses.

oh and by the way, i'm not inlove with two people. i love her and only her. yes, you might say i'm a flirt. but so what? you think flirting brings you happiness? think again. because at the end of the day, you're going to be at your bed and you'll be thinking of how shallow everything was. besides, it's all a mask. why wear a mask you ask? come on. like as if you don't wear masks. haha. i bet you do too. just that it's different from the one i have on. anyway, i'm just really glad to know that i'll live by to see through this turmoil.

it's beautiful what i have, but it's ugly what is given to me.

can't feel. can't touch. no hugs. no regular calls. no walks, nor runs. no sharing of that single strand of sphagetti. no movies. no dating! no dinners, nor lunches. not even breakfast. so beyond my reach.

oh well. it is the sick way God toys with me. He's training me for something bigger. oh well. Thy Will Be Done.

i don't want to fight too hard against Him anyway. i've lost more than a million times. i'm like, "okee". haha.

sure, i do love her. but seriously, sometimes you just can't help but think, "is love enough?"

sigh. i wish it would never end though. but somehow, i kinda do.

1 comment:

M.E. said...

do you still doubt, love? maybe there were some doubts in the beginning for both of us, still trying, still opening up. and now, when everything has whisked by, the 8th month in next week, i cant help but think and (strongly) feel that, this is going to go through. =))