Trippy.

I'm not totally free (yet). I'm still caught up with you, even though I already know that you're totally over me. You are. Actions speaks louder than words. 

You're so over me that you've sold your body to him... already.

That's fine. I guess nothing we ever shared counted anyway.

*****

Rants

I'm losing a friend to fate. I may not be totally free from you, but I'm not stupid. I know healing is a long process, especially with the way you've dumped me. DUMPED. Literally. But you know what? I suppose it was worth it. For you at least.

Such a great friend for "being there" for me. And what's that? Did I hear you say that I will always be your baby? BULL SHIT.

Like I said, actions speak louder than words.

You say that you are plentiful of fear too? BULL SHIT.

The way you act doesn't seem like it. What fear? You've sold yourself to him already.

But you know what? That's fine.

I'm working on making it through... and I will. And I'll be victorious. Always was, always am, and always will be.

KARMA - watch out, it's coming.

And you wonder why I'm so fucked up inside? Look at how you're treating me!

Whatever. You don't care for me as much as I care for you anymore. I wonder why I still wake up and hope that you'll call me back and want me back. I don't know why I still love you. I don't know why I hope for things that will never come, ever again.

I hope you the best of luck with him. I suppose everything truly is a lie. And fancy how in the end, it was you who made it all a lie.

All right... enough of the rants. I don't like making you feel bad... even though I truly feel like you deserve it.

But you don't. You don't deserve all that crap I gave to you... and now, you are so much happier, and you are enjoying the fruits of being with someone who is right there for the taking. I envy the fact that you're on your way to the road of companionship.

Sigh. Regrets... that's all I'm filled with. In the end, nothing was ever worth it. The rings, the dreams, the promises, everything seems so... discarded and thrown away.

Oh well. Sigh...

*****

Caroline Rose Palser

Thanks for trying to cheer me up. The Strong Museum of Play was amazing. I love kids, and I guess you knew that. So I'm grateful for your efforts to pull me up from this slumber. The Butterfly park was really nice too. I thought flying bugs freaked you out? Liar. Haha.

But this was trippy...

Me - trying to smile for the camera.

Caroline - getting into the flow of things.

I had a wonderful time, thank you!